I have been contemplating the way(s) that our increasing devotion to technology has affected the ways we communicate with each other and develop realationships. One obvious part of this discussion is the issue of Internet dating. I am really curious to hear your opinions on this topic. There are, of course, convincing arguments for dating online (you can find who/what you are looking for a lot easier; it gives you access to a larger "dating pool"; you can communicate and find out if there is any real compatability beyond physical attraction), but there are also a lot of reasons not to do it (first and foremost, there are a lot of freaks in the world, and many of them spend a lot of time online; the people you meet often live too far away for a real relationship; you can't know if you have chemistry with someone until you meet that person face to face; people are fake online, putting forth a false, or idealized, version of themselves). These are all arguments I have heard, not necessarily my own arguments. I'm sure you have heard these arguments, or similar ones.So my question to you is this: Is online dating a good thing? Is it improving or hindering the way we meet and fall in love? Is it speeding up an outdated process or taking all of the fun and tradition out of what my grandparents would call "courting"? Feel free to share personal experiences. Do you meet people online? Do you have success stories? Horror stories? I am really interested in hearing your views on this topic, as well as your own diverse experiences.
~D
7 comments:
Online dating is not hindering our way of meeting and falling in love, it is just a different way of doing it. Personally, I do not agree with it and think it is one of the least effective ways of getting to know someone. We should be meeting the people around us, be more forward or outgoing with them. That is when one feels the chemistry. Or that is how one simply meets and learns to meet other people. It prepares one so that when they find the love of their life, they won't feel as awkward face to face and they will be able to express themselves more truthfully.
Another thing that bothers me about online dating, or even chatting, is that in a serious relationship, one needs to know the heart of the person, and being able to plan out every word they will use to grab their attention before posting it, is a way of putting up a false front. If that someone was talking to the person face to face, they would not have the time to formulate each sentence precisely. This makes one nearly a completely different character online than they are in person.
The same thing applies to texting. One of my friends even admits he is not very good with words when he talks to me face to face. It is very true. One time we tried to talk about our situation, and how I just didn't feel the same way. He didn't say a word!! It drove me insane. But once I got a phone, texting is all he wanted to do to make it all better. I would rather be able to read his facial expressions and know what he is really feeling. Grrr.
Another thing I have discovered from texting, is one might find the courage to say something they wouldn't dare say to someone in person. That can be a good or bad thing. Someone might finally get to say what they have been waiting to say all their lives, then the relationship can progress from there. Or some people may type more brutal emails because they can, because they cannot see the other persons face to notice if it hurt their feelings and they don't care.
The internet and texting is taking over our world of people to people communication. Soon people won't even live together, they'll just live together through a screen.
I do not agree with online dating. Yes, I do know a few couples who have met online, but for the majority I think it is unsuccessful. The song by Brad Paisley called "Cooler Online" kind of makes fun of this style of dating. You can be whoever you want online. How do you know these people are who you are really talking to? On another note, emotions are thrown out when it comes to online dating. How do you know if someone is irritated or saying something sincerely? We don't. It also is a lot easier to talk online and say some things that you would not say in person. Online dating is not a legitamite way of meeting people.
First of all, in response to Amber's comments- I agree 100%. A lot of my opinions tie in perfectly with our discussion in class about technology and how it is taking over our world. We live in a LAZY society. As a culture, we want everything and we want it now! Everything imaginable has a "shortcut" way to get it. Anything from getting a degree in as little as 9 months, or to downloading music in seconds, or even to finding "the one" in a matter of weeks. We live our lives in the "fast-lane" so to speak. We don't slow down to really get a look at reality. This applies to relationships too. It starts by exchanging numbers, then texting to your hearts content, then the "I love you's", next marriage, then the divorce. We, as a society, are setting ourselves up for failure. Instead of taking the time to get to know somebody by spending time with them, we get wrapped up in written conversations. Whether it be by texting or by e-mail. It is convenient and comfortable. Confrontation is so much easier because you don't have to see the emotions as they are playing out. We are losing the ability to communicate face to face. I'm not saying technology is bad, but is it going too far? Are we abusing it's intended use?
I think that there is a stereotype that the people who go to online dating are weird or desperate people. i dont think this is true normal people do online dating. Also, i dont think that in most cases people date online for a while. it seems like this would only be a way to meet someone and then see them in person. most relstionships are not very intimate in the begining anyways. i agree that people do say things in text that they wouldnt say in person, i think that is a good thing too. i hate it when i think i like someone and then really get to know them only to find out they are completly different when they arent putting up a front. if someone is mean in text i'd know to stay away from that relationship. i dont see anything wrong with meeting somebody online.
Curtis-
I think you have some very intriguing view points. What do you think about technology in our world today? Do you think it is taking over our ability to have face-to-face communication? Just curious.
Thanks.
-Courtney
Well Courtney, I think that it eliminates some of the need for a face to face conversation, not necessarily the ability. of course if one were to take it to the extreme and live online then he would probably lose that ability too. but if used in moderation, which i think most people do, that ability doesnt go away.
Also, earlier you said that this technology makes our society more lazy, i dont think lazy is the right word though. if you think about it, the technology lets us get things done faster but instead of relaxing in that extra time, i think most people stay busy all the time. that isnt always a good thing either though, it makes us more ADD i think. so we are lazy but at the same time we are always busy and late for something. we try to do too much because now, with technology, we have the time.
I think you are absolutely right though about a digital relationship not being nearly as meaningful as a face to face relationship. when i said online dating was a good thing, i only believe that if it is used as a tool to meet people you would like, and then meet them face to face.
For me it isn't so much about online dating because i would never date someone that i met online. I've heard to many horror stories and sorry but i'm a sucker for romance and meeting online is not a good meet cute for me at all!!
I've never dated anybody online but a lot of times i will meet someone at a dance or a party and simply only tell them my name and where i go to school and the next thing i know they are adding me on face book and asking me to hang out after only a couple words of conversation. I think online meeting, chatting, and dating is kinda hurting how people meet and find love i mean i don't think it's right if you can ask someone out online but not in person!
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